Our language is filled with profound metaphors linking how we eat with how we take in and process information; these are consistent reminders of eating. “I can’t believe he swallowed that. We ask for information in bite-sized chunks. We look at a news feed, and we refer to some things as ‘unable to stomach that, or it stuck in my throat, it’s eating away at me, sick to my back teeth, he makes me sick, I have bitten off more than I can chew, I have a gut feeling about this. Some people talk about being starved of emotion, or having a hunger for knowledge, Making a meal of it; you may consider someone as anal-retentive or having verbal diarrhoea.

An infant instinctively knows when to feed and when to refuse a bottle. Have you tried to feed an baby that just does not want to feed. From there onwards, our behaviours and responses are all learnt. Who decides what you put in your body?

Let’s have a quick look at social ritual. Western culture handles food and social interaction in a very unique way compared to the East. In the West you meet some one, say a group of friends in a bar after work, most times it is

“How are you ,would you like a drink?.”
“No thank you I am driving.”
“Oh go one, one won’t hurt you.”
“No, really I won’t, thank you, just a diet coke“

‘ and that’s it, the ritual ends there, drink driving is now such a social taboo, it is permissible ‘within the tribe’ to say no, to refuse the offer and still keep to the social conventions, the sense of belonging to ‘the tribe’

Now try that with food! It is the ability to say no that many of my clients find the hardest. I do not mean saying no to food in general, this is not a diet, and the five simple rules of eating allow you to eat with out deprivation, it is saying no to some of the social rituals constructed around food.

So how do you say no; people do not like it when they cannot influence other people? If you consider this is problem we will address it fully face to face. I acknowledge saying no can be hard; this is not self denial, this is not saying no to yourself when you are physically hungry, this is saying no to the social expectations placed upon you when you are full, when eating more is not good for you.

Consider this, you are introduced to a stranger by a mutual friend, you shake hands and exchange names. As he finishes shaking your hand, he asks with a deadpan face,

“Fancy a shag then?”
“erm, no thank you, a handshake is quite enough thank you “
“Go on, one won’t make a difference”
“No”
“It will make you feel better”
“No”
“What have you got some disease then, are you frigid”

Who decides what you put in your body? Do you have to say no every time? (and I am talking about food again now.) A diet, a regime of deprivation, typically allows you no scope to ‘fall of the wagon’. Many people develop a Diet Mind Set. After three weeks of lettuce soup, and celery they break and give in to the things they crave. Emotions are always stronger than the will and the chocolate bar is devoured in an instant.

‘That’s it I have done it now, the world will end, the sky will fall down, I have ruined three weeks of hard work, all for a little chocolate bar!. I am so weak I can never stick to a diet’

Well you are right, its take a massive effort to stick to a diet, its unnatural to do so and I do not want you to do anything even remotely like that at all. All it is, is one little chocolate bar and not the end of the world, it is not the catastrophe you believe it to be.

One of the things 'naturally thin people' do, those people who have never had a weight issue in their entire lives do, is to fail, once in a while, they 'fail'. They do not seek perfection, they are much happier with excellence; and everything is consumed in balance. It’s the 80/20 guide. For 80% of the time, consistently and wholeheartedly be good to yourself. The rest of the times allow yourself some slack. Yes that is correct, fail, get it wrong, cheat, make a mess of it, fall off the wagon, go off the rails, take a wrong turn or throw a curve ball - occasionally.

If the situation demands you go to the business lunch even if you are not hungry, or you have to have a piece of Sharon’s birthday cake in the office, or a coffee and a cookie with the other mums, then do it.

You will find, as time goes on, and the work we do together gets to the heart of things, you will just naturally, more and more take greater control of both the internal and external things that influence your eating. Until the time comes, when almost unnoticed, the true reasons to start eating and to stop eating are just as natural as breathing. I call this the New Normal.

Hypnotherapy is not a miracle cure; for many people it is a great way to regain Eating Control, and to take care of what ever drives you to behave as you do. Give me a call and I will give you an honest answer if Hypnotherapy would be good for you. 0208 647 7441